$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
