her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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