Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
