better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
