but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
