we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
