I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
