One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
