the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
