That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
