your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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