Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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