Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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