from now on my penis is your penis
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
