I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
