Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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