At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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