She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
