I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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