all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
