The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
