the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Church boner. Awkwardddd
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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