i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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