PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
