dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
