Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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