I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
