dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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