He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
