I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
