I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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