She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Be still, my beating vagina.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
