so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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