My girlfriend figured out who you are.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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