oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
