I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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