he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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