remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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