i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
