So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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