I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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