whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
His hands were made for my vagina.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
