low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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