Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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