I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
