Dual....:-)
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I will be naked everywhere
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
