dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
