GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
