Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
