margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
